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And it dosent actually matter , no one cares , people have their own problems but its like if i cant find one other person , a story , real or fiction.
And then one must conclude that if we find ourselves in one of these bizzare scenarios , well really bad luck , because youve entered a thong that maybe not the same situation as others but i think ill put it down as a lifetime stupid struggle, and many of us are experiencing prolonged striving , with no seemingly apparent hope for overcoming so we just accept it and keep it to our selves.

But for the record , for others stuck in a prolonged battle for even being able to say to themselves yeah no one may understand but it was fucken hard, beyond ridiculously hard , and yeah something happened many things , one can just say yeah some of us are , we just went througj something beyond stupid, lot clear cut, maybe when your dealing with a manipulative person that turns the tables on you and you take all the blame and maybe even many years decades later , you only start thinking , damn , maybe it wasnt my fault at all.
Maybe you never imagined someone you loved and so close to you or it was even possoble for someone to be so downright twisted.