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But thennyou pick up the pieces and it gets to a point you try to be so safe, its just basically staying home, and going to yourself , damn im going to somehow try to live a normal life. And people just think your crazy they really do and then you start acting crazy because what you are doing is crazy but youll be damned if youll ever allow yourself to fall into such a situation again. It becomes your main priority in life above all else, but totally necessary and you must do it and you just keep trying and try not to talk much but then the supressed issues have a way of revealing themselves to others in one way or another, because conforming and just going with the flow and trying to fit in is not an option , your constantly navigating what seems like a fictitious even experience, but yeah you simply must stick to your guns in the hope of salvaging something at least from something you long ago gave up talking about and the only logical solution in your mind is , hey maybe we can stop the youth from going through anything remotely close to this and you look at whats going on now, and you are convinced just cos new generation has iphones , ai , tick tock , home delivered fancy food and the rest that ,damn youve recognized a repeating pattern that is not being addtessed, and you see people you used to look up to , now being stuck at the internet and social media bashing and name calling and lynching, and not having a solution, or gathering support to clarify and get some results , but they then alienate people from helping and co ordinating action by resorting to name call , you can send the bastards to gaol for life , even execution.
But the thing you hated so much , doesnt get fixed it keeps happening and this type of behaviour then gets the exact opposite people voted in that could try to start to fix some things properly , but we just continue collectively as a society into group behaviour that got us in thos mess in the first place , and it seems there is more confusion as to which way forward is when we have supposedly the best tools for advancing humans ever in history of earth or nah?

And it dosent actually matter , no one cares , people have their own problems but its like if i cant find one other person , a story , real or fiction.
And then one must conclude that if we find ourselves in one of these bizzare scenarios , well really bad luck , because youve entered a thong that maybe not the same situation as others but i think ill put it down as a lifetime stupid struggle, and many of us are experiencing prolonged striving , with no seemingly apparent hope for overcoming so we just accept it and keep it to our selves.

But for the record , for others stuck in a prolonged battle for even being able to say to themselves yeah no one may understand but it was fucken hard, beyond ridiculously hard , and yeah something happened many things , one can just say yeah some of us are , we just went througj something beyond stupid, lot clear cut, maybe when your dealing with a manipulative person that turns the tables on you and you take all the blame and maybe even many years decades later , you only start thinking , damn , maybe it wasnt my fault at all.
Maybe you never imagined someone you loved and so close to you or it was even possoble for someone to be so downright twisted.

Yeah think ive worked out something,
Ok when people say yeah buy everybody goes through such and such.

Well do i have a issue with that statement.
No everybody does not go through everything the same , equally.

And then if one expresses that they most definitely have experoenced a freak occurence.
And its not a matter of then if you clarify.
Yes i did experience something maybe no one ever has before, and its not bragging, nothong one feels any joy from. Sometimes.
And its like do you mean to be telling me you will not aknowledge that i may have or anyone had a truely unique experience.

And that ridiculously down right stupid series of events line up in such a fashion that the level of absurdity in that particular way would be a one off , incomprehensible to anyone else , and the one experiencing it,
And an inability to express the situation, and get help.
And the absurdity is multiplied when one trys to frame the crazy stuff in such a way to even not get into it.
Merely hinting i dont think you have any clue what i experienced and not to brag about the level of just needlessness of such a situatoon.
But for one reason or another you me or anyone experienced something no body would belive or you wouldnt try to get someone to understand because then sometimes they go everybody goes through that. And its not even saying what i went through was worse or .
Its that you spend sometimes a lifetime trying to make heads or tales about something.
And even people very close to you can deny you even the right to have a problem unique in its down right absurdity and stupidity.
So you go it alone, exhaust all help options in your city.
Yeah as im trying to express its not bragging. And can be classed in general problems of life.

But are we doomed to keep repeating the same branch of problems eternally.
When will people aknowledge we should or someone should try to have a conversation of needless absolutely assnine things not identical but we have people behaveing in a manner that is proven to fail and they end up like me in their 50s going really , was it necessary did i chose it are there others well yes there is hundred percent.
And then we deny people the right to have experienced something that should be expressed or denying the exhistence of people who never get one person to understand let alone rally large numbers to work to a solution or nah?