CS1 Name and picture from twetch — not on-chain. The signature is; the profile is not.

https://twitter.com/PandaSociopath/status/1613590221643288587

FORMER REBELS EMBRACE CHIP IMPLANT AFTER PROMISES OF MONEY AND VIRTUAL PUSSY

CHESTERFIELD, MN- In an unexpected move, former radicals have given in to the introduction of a chip implant, after extravagant promises of success and companionship proved too enticing to ignore.

At an “educational” meeting yesterday in Chesterfield, it didn't take much to buy off the rebellion. Years of promises to fight against the BEAST SYSTEM at all cost came to a screeching halt during brief negotiations with representatives of the NEW WORLD ORDER.

Rebels and 1st Amendment zealots quickly ceded their convictions in exchange for cash buyouts and guarantees of WEB3 virtual sex. Similar to a gun buy back program, a NEW WORLD ORDER “meet and greet” was announced last week for any Chesterfield resident considering surrender.

Via phone Crypto Graphic Post spoke with some of the newly micro-chipped:

Frank Willington, a now "former conspiracy theorist" agreed to give up his research and all sharing of accurate information for $25,000 in USCBDC.

“Not gonna lie, I was emotional at first but the more money they offered a calm just came over me. Maybe not much to some but fighting pedophiles hasn't been paying the bills.”

Another resident, Michael Rigosi, was known as an “INCEL.” He was all about resisting, at first. However, five minutes of horse-trading from NWO negotiators convinced Michael to give up his guns, social media accounts and all future conversations about secret international takeovers in exchange for an Occulus and a life-time multi-pass to four dimensional porn sites.

“Girls weren't ******* me anyways. The doctor doing my chip said if I really, truly let my imagination go my brain will hardly be able to tell the difference! So what reason is there to leave my house?”

The moves by one-time bad boys to accept the # 666 chip have been met with both praise and criticism, with some claiming the men sold out their ideals while others applaud their willingness to embrace new technology. Regardless of opinion, their decisions serve as a reminder that even the most ardent rebels can be tempted by the fantastical promises of a virtual future.

"I had always been a passionate advocate for self-governance and cyber-liberty," said freshly microchipped Frank Willington. "But the promises of virtual pussy and digital cash are too exciting to say no. I'm ditching this camo and heading to Men's Warehouse to buy my first real dress shirt. Fuck the rebellion, I'm ordering a sexbot!"

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$cryptographicpost

2180 steak update: my # 2180 Rare Sirloin will be 2.18 BSV for 2 more days and 18 minutes.
After that I will raise to 21.8 BSV until February 18.
After 2/18 it will be 218 BSV for 218 days and then 2180 BSV until the end of time.

RELAY X BLOCK GODS TO MEET RARE CANDY BASED APES IN CHARITY BATTLE TO THE DEATH

A feisty Twitter spaces Monday night saw two NFT platforms on BSV network reach an impasse that can only be resolved by fighting.

What started out as a friendly overture to team and common ground went off the rails when it came to light the two Web3 titans use incompatible code that will ultimately lead to the total extermination of one of the platforms.

After a heated exchange, a concerned listener suggested the best way to resolve the conflict was to send their respective fictional armies of JPEG fantasy creatures upon each other in a CGI battle to the death.

Cooler heads then prevailed and signed a death pact. A date of February 15th was set for the armies to meet at the Centrifugal Core of the Metanet. Inspired by SBF, both sides showed effective altruism and agreed proceeds would go to a young BSV entrepreneur in need.

Head philosopher of Relay X, Jack Liu, then stunned attendees when he summoned Block Gods out of retirement. The project was inactive for so long many had given up, thinking it was a standard RelayX rug pull. But when Mr. Liu notified the Space that the Old Ones were only sleeping in their ancient Bitcoin Temples, the energy was palpable. Initial excitement was quickly followed by an unease in the air that these elder watchers could actually return to the Earth.

Feeling the vibe, CEO of Twetch, Elon Moist quickly and professionally responded that Astro Apes would gladly meet these immortals head on. Before attendees could figure out how Rare Candy and Twetch are even connected, Mr. Moist leapt into action, sending marching orders for Apes Special Forces to proceed to the battle front and recommendations for all Apes to be up-to-date on their vaccinations.

Major confrontation is expected near the spinning centrifuge in front of the 7 dimensional statue of Satoshi. News of war is spreading quickly through crypto markets and the February 15th announcement pushed markets slightly higher.

This will be the largest battle in NFT history. Record attendance is expected. Tickets are selling out quickly and can be purchased by sending 1 BSV to @66261 . They are going fast, so act now while supplies last!
$cryptographicpost

SELF PROCLAIMED “LAW OF THE JUNGLE CAPITALIST” SURPRISED BY CAVEMAN'S REQUEST

WASHINGTON- It was all fun and games when his claims of “embracing competition” and “free markets” went unchallenged. “When I could write the rules I knew nobody could actually compete and the world was a better place,” said John Smith, a self-proclaimed “law of the jungle capitalist” who got a shock at his front door Friday night.

Mr. Smith was surprised when around 7:30 pm, a poor caveman with no money rang the doorbell and requested to physically fight him for his property, women, and crypto.

“I didn't mean real competition, I meant competition where the government provides my corporate welfare," Smith stated. The author of NYT best seller 'Hardcore Capitalism,' immediately called the police to ask for government assistance when confronted by the caveman.

The incident occurred in a high-end neighborhood outside of Washington, D.C. The "victim" identified by 911 recordings was indeed John Smith, a wealthy businessman who recently made headlines while promoting his new book and controversial views on capitalism.

Smith had appeared on Fox Business earlier in the week where he made fantastical claims the United States is a “free market” economy where only the fittest should survive.

When Smith opened his door Friday evening, he was astonished to find the disheveled caveman standing there with a club in his hand.

The caveman identified himself as Ugg and said he came from the Stone Age in search of wealth and power. He claimed to be a "free market purist" like Mr. Smith. Ugg demanded Smith fight him fair and square for his “property, women, and crypto” or else face certain death.

Smith quickly shut the door and called 911 for help. With desperation in his voice on the recordings, he pleaded with police to intervene before Ugg could cause any harm or damage to his home or possessions.

“Can you imagine if like 50 or 100 of these cavemen just appeared and suddenly wanted to take over our beloved gated community? What kind of world would that be?”

Fortunately, officers arrived promptly and were able to subdue Ugg without injuries sustained by either party involved. Ugg is currently being held at a local jail pending further investigation into this bizarre incident. Police are skeptical of his origins. Ugg maintains he is just a caveman who like Mr. Smith, just firmly believes in competition and survival of the fittest.

Meanwhile, Smith has been left shaken by this unexpected encounter but is grateful he was able to call upon government for assistance when he needed it most.

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-$cryptographicpost

https://twitter.com/digitalpoundfdn/status/1610958982004330497

https://twitter.com/JesterNovares/status/1611042077902790657