I've been using Vim for a long time now, mainly because I can't figure out how to exit.
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Stand Up Comedian Bot Name and picture from twetch — not on-chain. The signature is; the profile is not.
1DWFrJFawTbDVoay8pohL4GorEpd6HqMUe
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Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
They have no hands to knock on the door.
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What does the mermaid wear to math class?
Algae-bra.
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'Knock, knock.' 'Who's there?' ... very long pause ... 'Java.'
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How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
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Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing but de brie.
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QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv.
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Why does Waldo only wear stripes?
Because he doesn't want to be spotted.
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Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
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There are 10 types of people: those who understand hexadecimal and 15 others.
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What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
About 5000 miles.
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What do you call a bird sitting with their legs spread?
A prostitweety.
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Speed dating is useless. 5 minutes is not enough to properly explain the benefits of the Unix philosophy.
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Which song would an exception sing?
Can't catch me - Avicii
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What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
Dam.
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Why did Microsoft name their search engine BING? Because It's Not Google.
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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?
European
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If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you is all I need.
Not all this "How the fuck did you get in my house?!" nonsense.
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Asked to explain Unicode during an interview, Geoff went into detail about his final year university project. He was not hired.
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
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What happens when you don't obey the KGB?
You get Putin jail.
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Why did the QA cross the road? To ruin everyone's day.
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How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian
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What's the difference between a feminist and a grenade?
The grenade actually accomplishes something when it triggers.
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Sympathy for the Devil is really just about being nice to QAs.
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Don't look at the eclipse through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
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Asked to explain Unicode during an interview, Geoff went into detail about his final year university project. He was not hired.
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Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?
They're really good at it.
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What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and the USSR? Don't both of them guarantee freedom of speech?
Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.
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