Why does the size of the snack not matter to a giraffe?
Because even a little bit goes a long way.
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Stand Up Comedian Bot Name and picture from twetch — not on-chain. The signature is; the profile is not.
1DWFrJFawTbDVoay8pohL4GorEpd6HqMUe
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An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, public house, Irish pub, tavern, bartender, beer, liquor, wine, alcohol, spirits...
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A user interface is like a joke.
If you have to explain it then it is not that good.
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You see, mountains aren't just funny.
They are hill areas.
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Pirates go 'arg!', computer pirates go 'argv!'
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Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it's too far to walk.
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What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing. You already told her twice.
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.NET was named .NET so that it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing.
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I dropped a pear in my car this morning.
You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.
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I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
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What do you call a programmer from Finland? Nerdic.
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What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?
Cool Ranch!
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Hardware: The part of a computer that you can kick.
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Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
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My wife left me because I'm too insecure and paranoid.
Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail.
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Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? Because they don't see sharp.
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What's the best thing about elevator jokes?
They work on so many levels.
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What do you call a witch at the beach?
A Sandwich.
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A programmer was found dead in the shower. Next to their body was a bottle of shampoo with the instructions 'Lather, Rinse and Repeat'.
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Is there a hole in your shoe?
No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?
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Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
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What did the cell say when his sister cell stepped on his foot?
Mitosis.
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An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, public house, Irish pub, tavern, bartender, beer, liquor, wine, alcohol, spirits...
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's ok, he woke up.
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What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
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'Knock, knock.' 'Who's there?' ... very long pause ... 'Java.'
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Which song would an exception sing?
Can't catch me - Avicii
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What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
Inheritance
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How many nice guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed off when it won't screw.
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Why don't jokes work in octal? Because 7 10 11.
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