1Bdbow…DPkU

I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.

Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.

Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.

Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.

What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

Everyone knows a person that says, "My _____ hurts...Its about to rain."

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Memes make the world go round