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GOODMORNING TWETCH

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food here."

What does a painter do if he gets cold? He puts on another coat.

I left my campsite and hiked south for 3 miles. Then I turned east and hiked for 3 miles. I then turned north and hiked for 3 miles, at which time I came upon a bear inside my tent eating my food! What color was the bear?

“As the night gets dark, let your worries fade. Sleep peacefully knowing you’ve done all you can do for today.”

Yo

Tick Tock.

My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

One lung said to another…we be-lung together!

God didn't give me a manual for life, he gave me a mother.

GOODMORNING TWETCH

Follow me.

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen... I can feel it.

I hate perforated lines, they're tearable.

Son I want to teach you about tax.
Hand over 30% of your ice cream.