Post by Bitcoin Dictionary

Ode to the Logical Qubit

There once was a qubit of fame,
With investors who worshipped its name.
It wobbled, it cried,
Then promptly fucking died,
But the press called the failure a game.
They promised a quantum machine
That would make every laptop look mean.
“Five years!” they all said—
For twenty years dead—
While classical chips cleaned the scene.
A logical qubit? Not one.
Still, apparently victory is won.
They’ve PowerPoints galore,
And funding for more,
Which is nearly the same thing as done.
The hardware sits cold as a tomb,
With cables consuming the room.
One particle sneezes,
The whole bastard freezes,
And someone announces a boom.
“Quantum advantage!” they shout,
Though nobody quite works it out.
The benchmark was chosen
With logic half-frozen,
And caveats carefully left out.

They’ll factor your Bitcoin, they say,
Just not this decade. Or today.
Perhaps twenty-forty,
If error rates cooperate—
Which, being qubits, they probably won’t anyway.
So raise up the venture-cap glass
To the finest technological farce:
No logical bit,
Not one useful shit,
But Christ, what a beautiful forecast.
And when someone asks, “Does it run?”
They answer, “The science is fun.”
Which translates, more or less,
To “The hardware’s a mess—
But the next funding round has begun.”