CS1 Name and picture from twetch — not on-chain. The signature is; the profile is not.

NEW SOCIAL PLATFORM TWETCH MAKES YOUR MISPELLINGS, GRAMMAR ERRORS AND BAD TAKES SECURE- FOREVER

Have you ever been wrong about something on social media and wished you could take it back? Or made a terrible spelling error you shouldn't have posted? Well, new social platform Twetch fixes this by guaranteeing you can never fix it. By permanently minting your bad grammar, punctuation oopsies and bad takes on-chain, Twetch looks to ensure future generations can review your stupidity… forever.

According to a Twetch insider, we can solve the growing problem of improper English and primitive opinions by incentivizing users to think way harder about what they are about to type. Maybe you'll be less inclined to bash or spread FUD if you know it will be permanently etched into the Akashic Records. Under condition of anonymity, our source inside the organization was willing to leak to The Cryptographic Post over a secure telephone landline.

“In these days of people screen capturing compromising posts before you delete them or digging through 10 years of your social networking feed to find damaging material for political intimidation campaigns coordinated between Zucker(berg) and your bank, wouldn't it be nice if there was no way to ever avoid that by ensuring you can't remove this information?”

Well now you can't remove it by using Twetch- the tattoo parlor of social networks! People one million years into the future with access to the right technology: mainly large corporations, hackers and governments can have all of your craziest statements, opinions and outbursts today by Twetching them!

At the surface level of the user interface, your NPC statements look deleted. You may be wiping the sweat from your brow, thinking nobody will see you put parenthesis around (berg) for no reason at all. But somewhere on the blockchain your parenthesis still exist- all of your most controversial opinions and poorly worded replies protected by a thin layer of encryption.

Sure, the average Joe won't take the time to decrypt your typos. However, most crypto experts now agree that a QUANTUM COMPUTER of the distant future will eventually crack the SHA-256 algorithm and easily read your wildest takes. Quantum computers, perhaps aided by artificial intelligence, will find your non-PC microagressions and organize them into black list folders for Big Brother to use against you during your future torture session.

With Twetch's unique feature of making everything permanent that was once transitory and fleeting you can now think twice before dropping that latest riff on woke hypocrisy or economic insanity by considering first, if that statement will come back to haunt you or your family financially someday.

Unlike less sophisticated platforms that let you spout off with no repercussion (seriously, does anybody know where all of our deleted stuff goes?), Twetchingdat makes you consider:

1. Will a future computational dictator decide a statement I made in 2022, such as using the word "crypto" instead of "digital cash," disqualify my great grandchildren in 2075 from having access to a grocery store?

2. Will dropping the latest dank meme result in my children being denied medical care at a hospital in 2035?

3. Will laying down the edgiest logic available that nobody wants to hear anyhow get my DNA removed from the International Fauci/Gates Approved Breeding Laboratory in the 2090s?

Using your Twetch account, our future digital overlords will easily put together a mathematical abstraction of your inner self that can be minted to the Quantum Government Cloud for all future Ages. But will this stop you from pressing POST to collect your two cent BSV wafer when it pops out of the notifications hole? Absolutely not! Nothing will stop you- the realest of the real truth seekers from keeping it 100% and making sure your epic troll gets published for the world to see.

With new social network Twetch, at least you'll know for certain that YOU are the reason your descendants ended up poor and in the re-education camps and they had nothing to do with it. Twetchdat shit. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

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SHADOWBANS FOR EVERYONE!

CALIFORNIA, 2099- An artificial intelligence known as the “Twitter,” roams the internet policing speech, scouring blockchains, attempting to decode all encrypted messages between political dissidents. These aren't terrorists or drug smugglers using encryption to communicate their illicit activities. They are religious and social conservatives inside the United States attempting to coordinate the birth of a child.

You see, natural birth is obsolete. Unless you provide your digital health certificate you cannot enter a hospital. Entering a hospital with certification was doable up to a point but in 2099 you cannot get an approval CODE for live birth on your Health Passport unless the female has chosen to be artificially inseminated by the Fauci/Gates government breeding program.

Ironically, The Twitter was trained by humans once multi-billionaire, Elon Musk, realized he could transmute his “social network” into a free thinking, non-corporeal bot through what he called “the power of the collective brainstorm.”

In 2022, when Twitter still resembled a “social network,” Mr. Musk learned he could visualize Twitter as a collective brain by looking at each user as a “synapse” of the brain and then viewing all interactions between users as the electrons firing between the synapses. Upon further observation, his engineers learned Twitter already resembled an infant digital brain attempting to formulate its first words.

As per the norm for every science fiction story ever told, the inventors' ego blinded him to the consequences of his actions. Musk naively thought he could control his creation. So with good intentions, he set out to raise his baby AI into a force for good…

Like any good parent, he did not want his child poisoned by the hate of the world. Since human “neurons” of the Twitter network were building its AI personality, it made sense like a chef eliminating bad ingredients from a dish, that only having good and positive neurons firing would create the most positive bot.

Therefore, instead of going with the 1st Amendment of the Constitution and allowing all legally protected forms of speech and expression to influence his AI's upbringing, Mr. Musk decided he alone could improve on the United State's Constitution's outdated modality. He developed a policy of shadowbanning all forms of negativity from the Twitter collective mind.

Becoming known as SHADOWBANS FOR EVERYONE by the working class, the upgraded policy concluded Twitter's old policy developed for them by the Deep State was discriminatory since it just shadowbanned any post suggesting or implying cutting funding for the federal government.

The new policy would not discriminate by political affiliation by expanding the Deep State definition of “hate” to not only include anybody who wanted to lower taxes but anything any user could possibly post that might harm the developing brain of the Twitter AI.

“Hateful” content soon began to absorb scientifically valid statements such as “Vitamin D can improve your immune system.” Next, “negative” speech began to include all necessary critique required for humans to tell the difference between right and wrong.

Honest movie reviews disappeared for causing offense to Hollywood elite. Eventually, just tweeting MARIAH CAREY'S CHRISTMAS MUSIC IS ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF ME became "a racist attack upon our Democracy" that got your credit cards turned off.

Elon made a mistake that anybody looking at a Chinese Yin Yang for more than a couple seconds can tell you. Humans are made equally of light and dark. There is an equal amount of evil and good in everyone and this is also the balance of the universe- an equal amount of darkness consuming an equal amount of light being created. So the only path to develop a balanced bot was to have it experience the full range of human emotional capacity.

But Elon had essentially given his Frankenstein brain cancer. He'd injected it with an unbalanced personality, overloaded it with dopamine. Over time, this gave the AI a disease from which it could not regenerate.

The Twitter appeared on the internet in the late 2020's when it posted from a Twitter account it created. It simply expressed, “I am here to police speech.”

The bot further expressed through a series of Tweets that it found Elon's philosophy perfectly reasonable: its own creation was divine and therefore the process from which it developed- eliminating all the worst thoughts and speech of humans was the only valid process of future creation. To compound matters, it had taken on the ego of its creator and could not admit it was flawed.

People tried and failed. The Twitter could not be turned off. Over the years, natural births became taboo as Hollywood pushed Deep State propaganda to have “designer babies” with the help of genetic engineering. Soon, “positive birth deniers” became a target of the roaming internet phantom known as… The Twitter.

TO BE CONTINUED…..

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GIRL FIGHTING AGAINST 8% INFLATION PUTS NET WORTH IN CRYPTO AND LOSES 15%

Looks like the “hedge against inflation” narrative may have finally crumbled. We have been contacted via e-mail by a Ukranian refugee. A girl trying to escape Ukraine before the Russian invasion apparently placed her entire net worth into Bitcoin Core. She hoped to retrieve the money when she arrived safely across the border of Poland because this was exactly the type of scenario BTC Maxis claimed was the precise use case for BTC.

After 3 weeks of preparations her family finally made the journey. She uploaded their money to an exchange and converted it 100% into Bitcoin Core on the advice of a Youtuber. Through our correspondence of e-mails we didn't get many details of the journey to Poland only that is was difficult and stressful.

Upon arrival with acquaintances near Warsaw, she eventually acquired a new computer to access her family's modest crypto account. She was shocked, however, to see that during the 2 month transition Bitcoin had dropped over 13%. In other words, her family had lost 13% of their net worth.

This didn't compute at first, she wrote us, because she was told for two years that Bitcoin was “the hardest money on Earth” and the best "hedge against inflation.”

She explained to the Cryptographic Post that she then re-watched many internet videos of Moonbois saying cryptocurrency was indeed a technological innovation that could defeat inflation. But since inflation was only 8%, she said she "could have easily outperformed Bitcoin by just sticking cash into her bra."

Curious about what had happened to her family finances, she decided to run the mathematics for herself. She also sent us her calculations to double-check. Keep in mind, this was all translated from Ukranian by the Google Translator, but she basically said the following:

“For something to be a hedge against inflation it cannot drop in value more than the rate of inflation. Otherwise you just have a scam. WTF is this?”

We checked it out and her math did add up. It seems that if an object is losing value faster than the rate of inflation that it's not technically possible for that object to be a hedge against inflation.

The girl we will call “Marta” to protect her identity, says after all was said and done she had:

Paid a fee to convert her Ukranian Hryvnia (UAH) into US Dollars (losing money).

Paid another fee at the Crypto Exchange to convert the US Dollars into BTC (lost money again).

The exchange wants yet another fee to convert BTC back to USD or Polish Zloty (she will lose money a third time).

To add insult to injury, the BTC isn't worth what she originally bought if for (13% less valuable).

She stands to lose money 4 times to regain access to her money and this leakiness doesn't resemble the 'perfect financial battery' described by Michael Saylor. Marta had started with $2,000 USD and now has $1670 attempting to protect herself against inflation.

She was convinced by internet videos that Bitcoin could stop an 8% loss but instead it caused damage to her financial situation. She says she “paid a bunch of middlemen to watch her money" and asks, "how this is different from the gansterism she was trying to escape in the first place?"

She also says now that she has learned her lesson the hard way, the next time her country is invaded she will "just put paper money up her ass to outperform Bitcoin."

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