MatildaX Name and picture from twetch — not on-chain. The signature is; the profile is not.

Alright so Randy is out of town. I’m in bed about to go to sleep and this big black bitch bug LANDS on MY FUCKING HEAD. I spaz out and throw everything to the side and jump out, right? Mistake. I left my glasses on the nightstand and oh guess what I can’t see absolute shit. I see this figure moving and making a disgusting sound so I’m assuming the worst. I start calling Randy. He’s like on the other side of the country right now idk why I did wtf is he supposed to do. This black ass bitch starts trying to hide around the furniture. And before any of you mfs tell me “it’s just a bug not that big of a deal” - you don’t understand. Some of you fear gays and heights, I fear this. Anyway I run over to get the wasp spray because it shoots out from afar and I FLOOOD it with poison. Mf lands on his back and I grab Randy’s foam roller and smash the living fuck out of it. YOU’D THINK THAT DID IT RIGHT? NO. THIS MF IS STILL ALIVE. So I grab a vase, lift it above my head, and behead it. And now I can’t sleep.