Hi my name is mark , i am good hope you are good to.

So woke up this morning all i could think of was Treechat , not all  but thats it im allready done unfortunately thats my limit. Im allready having a psychotic episode that would have given me a mild heart attack before, yeah for some reason  im obsessed with thinking about new computer stuff .
I know i may seem like i havnt got a chance at knowing anything. Especially not computers.
But im telling you i am obsessed with constructing computer architecture in my head. It started when i spent so much time  trying to figure out mame. And  took some drugs  and combined with my problems i have a condition and many people do . Unfortunately i am proffesor at this because i have to be. To make it through another day but the point was i would close my eyes  and was stuck in somme kind of wierd problem that id close my eyes and go to bed and the computer screen was and it did dtive me more mad  but i dont lnow about more mad it doesnt work lik that.  Anyway i havnt got much more in me for typing but im going to try my guts out. Again and make some progress. And i promise you this morning when i woke up the well any improvent in my health is a miricle.
But yeah now my brain is slowly entering  where ive been before which is no fun .  But  as i was saying 
This morning i say some kind of treechat shop like a normal shop or cafe. Amd it was a beatiful morning. Now my life has turned horrific again. But i know this terain actually beetter way beter than my back of my hand..but when it first happened i was like a terrified child. Im talking by far the worst experience ive ever had  and dont think ill ever see that again i dont want to go there but thats when you actual see the real coldness of  this new world .
I dare say its different than the old world. Anyway im done already. But i have no other way of doing anything in this world , my hearts not in anything but this.where i am isnt hell but its taking its toll but im not whinging one bit thetes just a sickening evil in the air and its just a waste of life this place . The only sanity the only way is  here  doing this. 
And my woderful mornig i saw a treechat shop and it was beautiful and started thinking about how the stuff ive been trying tonwork out like the last 6 months i dont know how many months ago mynmum died or when i left substack but i have been thinking constantly  its not conyinuous but its like running in the background of my head and ive tryed a lot of stuff. People have hobbies but one of mine is trying to worknout how it can be done. And my  mind see now im about to not doze off but lets say theres minimal brain activity. . Its treechat. But not the computer software the ap itself  treechat is more than that beyond more treechat is people , real beautiful people.

 And yeah i woke this morning and  i cant explain butbthats why i wrote the title of this .
And what ive done today . This eveing has been a horror movie the scilence , the lonliness the helplessness of this city . Its well known this place is a fucken evil cold sterile hellhole . Canberra  that is 
but it had its momements but that wasnt the city it was my friends the feeling we  had back then most if not all are dead  . The city itself sucked arse you could nt worknoutvhow to make it from were i was no help no education 
.your trying to make it out of  just i dont want to talk about bad stuff  like addicted every single  day  ill never talk about it why you think im like those guys that tell their stories and think its cool you got no idea.  
 My angle. I didnt want to be like that. I tried working it out but couldnt  its the amount i tried that is different and  thats what they dont get. Thats why  my angle is different thats why im here . And i dont want to pointbout all the bad everywherre . 
I could anyone could talk bad about treechat even but im not , i just know thats why im writing , but it  still  fucked when you are discisted at your writing but i still love working at treechat my mind is made up , im not focusing one iota on bad stuff if focusing on computer site  arangement how it should be
But its just a slow constant thing ive focused on abit at a time just saying and thats what i was thinking about this morning  and  i realised that the people here treated me the best. And thats why i love working . I never used to say im working. I m not going to say it now  i dont need to  get people to veiw my actions in a way of a word.
What are the physical movements im doing ,  one calls it work the other not.  Thats not the point. 
Do i have to convincev anyone that im working and hows that gona  change shit ill still be see i am trying to not say bad things im not one of those people because ive been  subjected to that my whol life im tryingto get my dog to safety. Werre my dog is gona be how she is .  Yeah   i srariously know for a fact people do not understand treechat  tree chat has a soul its like no other place .  Cos i can feel it idont want to say out of this hell that im in . Its not .  And im not saying that cos ive listened to people that say that and i would rather be me anything not anything but certain things when you say them the words create there own hell . Like canberra as a whole  for some people it is hell maybe. Im expressing im loosing syrength im not going to repeat what i did before im tryingbto be a goid human being  , mice  im not trying to hurt people with words.
Its tough to battle the occasional brain shit and soul , heart   my heart i dont know about that anymore. See what they dont get i will never be like them . Thats the beauty of it they cant take away  me  im not like them and why even mok or become agressive. I wait for the bastards  . I dont even know  its turned into a sicker and even sicker game to them ,  i wont even talk about them and subject anyone to evil thoughts.  They make me smile i just notice when i wrote that i was smiling thats i wont even say thats how much they scare me i wont aknowledge them.and then try never talk like that again cos every day i get even less  and less like them thats one of my full time jobs i apreciate every single breath   wont talk like that unless im explaining which i dont . Yea  h they can twist  they can say  make me out as anything they want and i laugh now  . Then i i lied  i smiled with thesicklyest smile of someone that has faceed i dont want to say id be like them .